The Year That Was (013)

Dear blog,

You must hate me for changing your name thrice this year, or love me because I spoil you with a new look every time even when no one really looks. You see, I want you to always feel pretty and cared for.

In case you don't know, it's the last day of the year. And it has been one hell of a year. Crazy. Crazy good.

I feel like I owe you an apology. Remember last year when I made a blog post about 2013 goals? They hardly happened. I feel like a failure for not being able to meet my goals and expectations, but I am happy that many other (GREAT) things happened instead.

I attended school from January up to December this year with about 2 weeks off between semesters. I learned so much from my classes, and met the most amazing professors I am probably going to remember all my life. I was given the opportunity to present two papers at a student conference - my first one ever. I made my parents very proud. I made my whole family very proud. I, too, am proud of myself, but I could be more proud had I done a couple of things differently. But I know that things don't always go your way, you can't please everybody, and that things happen.

This year, I feel that I have spent sufficient time with my family, which I believe is very important. I know that I have been a very good daughter. Sometimes it gets exhausting, but that's just a matter of fact. I will never complain for spending too much time with my family, or cooking several dishes all at once because I like seeing people I love happy. It makes me happy.

I'm not rich in material things; I am still in the process of making that happen. But I am very, very rich in faith, family, and love above all other things. I know that material riches count. Some people think my priorities are shitty for settling with the few things I have. I don't know. I guess that's just how I roll.

I made new friends, and became distant with some. I don't consider them 'lost friendships' because I will always be a friend. Even if I don't talk with someone for several months, I will still be there - ready to pick things up where we left off. I'm that kind of person. I value people more than I should.

I'm ranting. Forgive me, blog. It's the last day of the year and I feel it's right to express my sentiments. Consider it as taking down a heavy load, ready to pick up new ones starting tomorrow.

I loved 2013. I will always love it. I don't think I can say goodbye to it just yet but I guess I have to in a few hours. Tomorrow scares me. 2014 scares me. But I think it will be fine. Don't you think?

It will be okay.

Love,
Joey of 2013

#balance2013: I say it's time.

#balance2013

New year's resolutions never really worked for me. It's either I don't make any or I forget them all the following morning. I never used to believe that a new year meant a renewed chance to be a better person. I always thought I should be a better person at my own pace; no year can dictate who and what I am supposed to be. But that was before.

I guess I see it all now. I haven't been the best person. A part of me hates myself, actually. I know the things I have done, said, and thought of that never benefited me once. I regret the opportunities I have missed out on the past year and I do not wish to make the same mistakes again. I want to be better. I can be better. I told myself that this is going to be my year and I won't let it start and end idly. That can't happen anymore. No.

This year I have decided to create balance - something I should have been doing for the past 3 years. "Priorities will always be priorities" but that can't always be. If I can, I will; And this year, I will. I don't want to say the things I have lined up because I don't want to jinx it but as I go along, and as I accomplish it one by one, I will let the world know how proud I am of myself.

Looking back at the past year, I guess it served as a preparation. Or I can be more creative and say that in the past year, I ran for 366 days with a torch in my hand, ready to light that cauldron waiting to signal a new face. The first day of the year is almost coming to an end. Let this serve as an oath.

Let the year begin. I say it's time.