A note for the downhearted

Someone once told me that the real adventure in life starts when you realize that all you have ever accomplished is knowing how to make sense of it all. It is when you realize the world is way ahead of you while your true journey has only just begun. It is when you see yourself climbing that mountain while all of them are already at the peak roasting marshmallows, singing Kumbaya around a campfire. Time is gold. Time is precious. Time is bliss. When all the world makes you feel downhearted, remember that your journey is unique - not because you are on that road less traveled, but because you are trying to figure life out at your own pace. And when you think to yourself that you have made the right call, that is when you start working up, with vigour and passion.

This someone could be wrong or on point. But either way, this someone is in all of us, smiling at you when you fail, when you succeed, and will always be there to cheer you on when you finally learn to believe in yourself.

"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time." 

- T.S. Eliot

The Things We Owe

Do you ever experience that sudden burst of sentimentality, even without any reason, whenever it rains? I do. Always. And it's one of those moments, too, wherein you play slow alternatives, sit by the window and pretend you're in a music video or something. I don't really imagine myself in being in a music video though. Instead, I listen to music and I begin to write. For some reason, it's when I am in that sentimental mood that gets me writing.

It's a Saturday afternoon. A dark, rainy one. And I am here thinking of writing on a topic that will suit the photos I took a while back.

I haven't been thinking deeply; hence, I haven't really had any realizations on life, on everything that we can all actually benefit from. I am so busy with school, I feel so drawn away from everything else. Quite frankly, it's actually nice. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like detaching from some things. My girlfriends knows that. I tell her my sentiments even the most nonsensical ones, and she's really great for keeping up with me :) She tells me I shouldn't mind it. But to myself, I always think of starting anew. Or something to that effect only less tiring and complicated.

I might not know the implications of what I am about to say and maybe I am out of my mind for saying this but sometimes I think to myself, I just want to grow up. I love being 19, young, and totally free to grab any opportunity that comes my way - may it be good or bad - but I just don't enjoy it that much as other teenagers. I dislike childish acts. I know I am guilty of that sometimes, and I despise myself for that, but I just want to keep all of that aside. I can't really explain it here, nor will I want or be able to explain it to anybody.

I guess I just want to change. or be better. What's difficult is the process - pulling away from the many things that have been with me for a while - progressive or not - and not regretting it. This isn't something that bothers me so much, just something that crosses my mind from time to time. I don't know. I want a quiet life. A quiet life with my girlfriend, working our way up our dreams ♥

In other words, maybe, I want to be more of a private person now, but I have gotten so used to being so public, so open I don't know how to pull away. I don't regret any of it though. I am actually grateful.

I don't worry so much. But yeah, it's something I'd write about.

Here's a song I have been listening to all afternoon. It's a really nice song.

Takida "The things we owe" from Johan Bååth on Vimeo.