Pride, pride, pride.

Yesterday was kind of a boring day for me. Maybe it's too much sleep that's keeping me so lazy to move since my body's all ached up from lying down. Maybe I should exercise. Or maybe I should just bake and cook and bake or.. anything that will keep me moving, honestly. 

Anyway, I took out my tripod and took photos of myself with my Pride (rainbow) flag. It's something I have been meaning to do, especially now that I have rainbow hair, and that pride is coming up soon. 

Here are two photos from a 3-shot sequence:

Excuse the tiny butt chin

I don't think I look androgynous anymore. But some people are still confused. Well then, I guess we'll have to keep them guessing, yes? 

Why am I not photogenic?

Hate As Power: The hunger and lack

We are in that era where love is deemed overrated and hate is more likely to be acted upon. It's a sad thought but it seems like hate is what makes the world go round.

We hear advocates, activists, including myself, campaigning to stop hate, to put an end to it, but has any of us ever thought of what it would be like if it didn't exist?  If all the hate in the world disappeared, what would that bring us? Satisfaction, pride and maybe every emotion linked with accomplishment. But what happens after? We rejoice and then we realize we have nothing left to fight for.

But that is only if it were true. Hate is, in fact, inevitable. It is a human emotion, and as long as our hearts are beating, hate will always be flowing in our blood. Just like love, lust, envy, etc. If you think about it, hate can actually be good. It puts bread on the table for some. It makes us think. It makes us speak out. It makes politicians take action. It makes some of us have something to prove. It creates contrast in everyday relationships. Hate becomes bad when it is impulsive and when it is abused. People who kill, hurt or take their own lives are victims of impulsive behaviour. If given time to think, these acts could (possibly) be controlled but in turn, become out of control. Why? There are many factors that contribute to this. Media is one. Hopelessness is another. Some strive for power, some lack it.

The Awesome in Queer

Have you ever felt like you are being treated differently because you are queer? If you have, then you're not alone. If you say no, then you are probably too fabulous to notice. Kudos, my friend. We have all been there - it may or may not be obvious but in one way or another, we are given that 'special' treatment. It comes with the whole being 'out' thing. 

Being different is not something you should feel bad about. But it shouldn't surprise you either. Among the many minority groups, the LGBT community is one that gains a close tie between hate and love. (I believe it's because we're intimidating. I mean, in what way besides "altering Christian values" as we are falsely accused of can we be harmful?)

I have had people tell me that they have lost friends when they came out of the closet. I have had people tell me they question themselves if they have made the right decision to come out because everybody has been treating them differently since. Personally, I hate the fact that coming out of the closet changes everything for some people - especially family ties (but I'll get to that in another entry). Being out of the closet shouldn't bring you down. If anything, it should boost your self-esteem. Hey, weren't you able to come out of the closet? You should be proud of yourself! You have made it this far. Don't come out just to go back in. 

I am writing this entry because I want you to help you feel great about yourself. We can't let them push us around or treat us as if we are carrying some kind of disease. We have to show them that just like any other person, we are capable of doing wondrous things (and we are disease free). & that we can be awesome too. 

Awesome & Queer vs Queer & Awesome?

Some people are awesome as individuals that happen to be queer. These are people who have made the world a better place with their awesomeness and their queerness doesn't change anything. If anything, they are loved even more. Personally, some people I would consider as "Awesome & Queer" are Neil Patrick Harris, Zachary Quinto, and other people who have been awesome way before they came out of the closet. But then again, both guys I mentioned are good-looking fellows who are great actors. It's kind of hard to hate on them. 

Now those people who are "Queer & Awesome" are those who I would say have learned to embrace their queerness. They are the ones who have made a name for themselves after coming out of the closet. Confidence is attractive and it's vital in surviving this vicious world we are living in - too competitive, too judgemental, too hypocritical and in reality, it's survival of the fittest. "If you can't beat them, join them". Why join them when you can outshine everybody? Be awesome! Start by being lifting your chin up. An example of someone who is "Queer & Awesome" could be me. Before I came out of the closet, I used to be so dull. I was a nobody. Look at me now - a liberal owning an identity, happily giving people advice and advocating for the community. But what makes me really "Queer & Awesome" is the fact that I am happy. ( What I mean by "awesome" is feeling great rather than being greater than everybody else) I am a living a life without doubting myself or trying to hide who I really am inside. If you have to get it out there, get it out there. I promise you happiness. 

You can be awesome too. Take one step at a time and I assure you, every step of the way is going to be worth it. 

BE AWESOME. I can't stress that enough. I am telling you, next to yourself, I am going to be the second person to be proud of you. :)

Fact: I say "awesome" a lot in my daily life. It's my favorite expression. Awesome, right?

Queer Parenting

Bringing Back the Rainbow

The other day I realized that even when a blog has been abandoned for quite some time, people continue to visit it. But then again, it does not happen to all of my old blogs. Just one. Just the last blog I abandoned entitled The Random Pool. It's a blog I created dedicated to LGBT issues, topic. I stopped writing there because LGBT issues in the Philippines gradually faded a little after a couple of entries were published. Hence, I really had nothing to write about. And of course I got busy. But since I've written a couple of commentaries on controversial issues, I gained traffic/audience, and got included in search engine results. I found out that readers from anywhere in the world still visit the site, and I bet my life that most of them are members of the gay community or simply curious. That is why I have decided to move The Random Pool here since this is /most/ probably going to be my most active blog ever (besides Tumblr).

I just don't know where to start though. I have a video to do all about non-accepting parents. I guess I can start there. Of course, the personal entries will still be here. And maybe even a couple on body mods or anything I am interested in. Oh, and long-distance relationship tips since I get asked a lot.

But I can only wish I can keep up with this until I get bored and do something else. It's like I have blogger ADD or something. But hey, I can try.

By the way, check this out. It's a video from Dominic/D-Trix's channel. This got me cracking up earlier.

Rants of A Frustrated Writer

I am such a frustrated writer. I can't think of any topic to write about. I also don't have time to write without having this pressure on pushed against me because midterms are coming up. But not to worry, I have only 8 or 9 weeks left before my summer vacation. What am I good at in writing? Or what do I think I am good at in writing? Hmm.. LGBT? Yeah I think that's about it. And also maybe well-being stuff. I don't know. I feel like a Dr. Phil for the gay community only a lot less wiser and less aggressive, which isn't a bad thing at all. Another problem I have is gaining readers.

Two problems in gaining readers:

1. Most Filipinos love LGBT-related topics. Problem? They don't really like reading. It's a sad fact. They would rather see pictures and watch videos :( I have a YouTube account, but I can't always post videos. Also, most Filipinos appreciate posts in Tagalog more. Problem? I'm not good in expressing my thoughts in Filipino. I lose in so many ways..

2. I target readers from other countries too; but I lack connections. I don't think foreign bloggers and I have common interests. I have yet to scout for LGBT bloggers or anyone interested in about anything for that matter.

But then again, I don't think I should limit myself to writing about just one topic. I can just categorize them or something. Meh. I can't think really well..I am a bit frustrated about my upcoming midterms. Not that I am afraid of the content or of the test, but I'm not happy about the fact that I only have midterms in my Gen Ed courses. I hate Gen Ed.

Tell me what will make you come back to this blog and read.