Just when I thought I would be able to write, words escape me. It's like I want to say so much, that I don't know where and how to start. Maybe it's all in my head - a voice telling me not to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it right now. But I feel like I have to - one way or another I feel the need to release the stress.
( Photo taken at Davie St in Vancouver )
My sun sets only to rise again –
and it is going to shine brighter than ever.
We all feel alone sometimes. I, probably more often than most people. Or I'd like to believe so. I am one of those people who can stand being alone in a public place, or in a crowded room but when things get heavy, I wish there was someone I could talk to. I know many people are just a message away but I have this fear that they won't get me. I could always try but being judged for reasons such as being misunderstood or shallow is another thing.
The sun sets only to rise again; it's always been clear that things get better and that everything has a purpose but I can't help but feel like it gets tiring. It gets tiring to think of what could happen, what awaits and how to survive the days until that certain purpose comes.. Who am I kidding? This isn't why I am writing right now. Although it's all true, that's not why I am wide awake at 2 am writing this.
Knowing myself pretty well, I should be stressing over this and that but surprisingly, I am not. Have I gone tired of putting myself through senseless (although not entirely senseless) crap? Have I finally learned to loosen up and stop thinking so much? Or again, have I just perfected the art of diversion that I can simply turn and run away from the things that bother me? Whatever it may be, I know I'll have to face them all eventually. I also know that it will all get better. It will all be fine.
The night is deafening
when the silence is listening
and I'm down on my knees
and I know that something is missing
because the back of my mind is holding things I'm relying in
but I choose to ignore it because I'm always denying them
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